Deployment Squared - Home At Last

Well here's another fine mess...

2007-12-22T20:49:00.000-05:00

Reason #1 why I have not been posting - enjoying my son being home from Iraq, home from the Army, home from anywhere else.
#2 - WORRYING about my son and his situation - you know - 'is that ptsd???', what is up with the girlfriend situation, how is it going with school, etc., etc., etc.
#3 Oh this one is the fun one.... I'm be-bopping along through life and realize my computer anti-viral (Computer Associates) is getting ready to go out of date and I need to PAY and download the update. Remember how they always tell you to be sure you are firewalled and anti-viral protected, etc. - it's sort of like insisting you have a condom on your internet processes, if you will. EXCEPT you need to disable your firewall, uninstall your anti-virus -- you know go out on the internet buck naked and download their new and updated program to protect you so your computer will be safe from computer diseases. Mind you, I live out in the sticks and we, yes I am embarrassed to have to admit to you, have dial up. So I follow the instructions, go out in the ether to download the updated computer virus program and hours later have only 2 to 3 % of the download. I try several different times and even at one point get (whoo-hoo!!) 25% of the download done and I say to myself "Self, this is ridiculous. Let's go to Office Depot, buy the program on disk and not so sorely tempt the patience level (very, very, very low) so you won't want to throw your computer through the window and into a blazing fire." Ooh, good idea!!

So I go to OD, buy the program which I have indeed already paid for on line, and happily enough try to load IT onto the computer.

This little program practically JUMPS onto the computer (well, I guess that would be more like INTO the computer) and I get to the part where it informs me I now need to go online to finish up. Okay, no big deal. And so the computer happily starts downloading stuff - from the correct location and all, and then informs me to complete the process the computer will need to be restarted. This is all perfectly normal and I am confident that I will then be able to go to the Computer Associates people on-line and request them to refund the download that I paid for as I then went to the store and bought the program on disk. No problem, right?

Not so much.

Somehow in the whole download process with "no protection" - as per the download instructions my computer has gotten some wacked out mental disease and informs me that I do not have a modem. Interesting since I do, indeed have a modem, it is an internal modem, it was working absolutely fine the day before, and what the heck is going on here?????

So I figure - hey I've used computers for quite some time now and I am confident I can fix this - it's some minor something and I should be able to fix this with minimum effort. Oh dear. I do a restore to a previous point, test the modem which is working quite well, making that lovely little dial tone hum and all's right with my computer world... almost.

Somehow the evil internet has viralized (yes, I made that work up, language is a living thing and I enjoy making up words and YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN by that word) my pc and I try and try and try to fix it to no end. Finally I get the name of a good computer guy who is now in my cell phone as Computer Paul and I take him my computer for fixing.

Oh, boy. He has to mentally jiggle with it quite a good bit and has it almost fixed when the hard drive crashes. Like into a big brick wall at 90 miles an hour. He ends up having to up my Windows XP to XP Professional, does lots of other little fixes and fortunately I do have the discs of the software programs I wanted. However - I have lost everything, I mean everything on my computer. Email addresses, emails I wanted to keep (and I had plenty), all my personal documents, photos, you know - EVERYTHING - favorite blogs and websites...

So I am recreating my computer history.

Computer Paul also advised me - don't ever pay for anti-virus programs. Have I ever heard of AVG Free? How about Spy-Bot? Well, he took care of me and put those in the machine and they work pretty well and wonderfully seamlessly.
So I go to Computer Associates, tell them my sad story and they advise me that since it was past 30 days when I requested my refund, they could only give me aprotion thereof. Freakin' fine - except I contacted them for this refund early in December and they have thus far failed to contact me any further about the refund (portion) and I'm getting tired of that silliness!!
I mean come on - I paid for a program TWICE that not only didn't work - it messed up my computer and cost me more money to have it repaired and it doesn't look as though they have any intention of returning a penny to me!!

Personal recommendation for computer protection - DO NOT use McAfee (I had a similar problem with them previously) do NOT use Computer Associates, do NOT pay for anything!!!!
Go with AVG!!

Okay I'm tired of typing, time to share.... I do miss some of my favorite blogs!!! WHatever happened to contact right???? who else am I missing??? Yankee Mom I remembered you, Chuck Z, gunnutt, several others ....

Memorial Day, 2007

2007-05-28T10:11:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted for quite a while! My son returned from his second deployment on September 7, 2006. He came home - physically relocating to under my roof when he was released from the service shortly thereafter. It has been a time of readjustment for all of us. That is not a bad thing - just a thing. He needed a place to stay short-term while he lined up his life (and finances,) and I think he needed a place to find his balance again, a shelter where he could let go of some of the sharp edges that surely come for all GIs after combat deployment.

He moved out Friday (yes - only 3 days ago) and it is a little strange for ME!

This man, my son, my little baby son who is a man in ways that some men will never be is back on his own and I want that for him and he wants that for him. It's just that even though I have been SO READY to have him move forward again, I have to now find my own balance from him having been in a combat deployment - twice.

This few months has been reassuring that he is really indeed alive and breathing on the planet - which I needed!

So, now he is out again and won't be here to tell me to stop watching the news and reading blogs related to Iraq, the mililtary in general, the war, etc., etc. because I don't need to know about that. Yes I do. He is simply trying to protect his mother by telling me that, I know. And I do need to know. I need to know that there are some people who really do love and appreciate our GIs, that I am not alone in that feeling.

This day - this Memorial Day - let all of us remember, let all of us honor, let all of us appreciate those of our brothers, our husbands, our fathers, our sons - and also our sisters, wives, mothers, and daughters - who have sacrificed so much so that we may be free. Of course, that means ALL of our military men and women, and particularly let us honor, appreciate, and remember our GIs who have made the ultimate sacrifice, giving their very lives that we may be free. A stand for freedom anywhere is a stand for freedom everywhere.

Thank you and God bless you to those of you who serve. Thank you and God keep you to those who have served and lost their lives from a grateful wife of a Viet Nam vet, a grateful mother of an Iraq vet.

holding pattern for blogging

2007-02-03T13:28:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've posted. Partially I haven't posted because I really do have to step over laundry and weapons to get to my computer - what, you thought I was kidding??? There are more reasons than that one, however. Mostly I have not WANTED to post. I have not wanted to feel the feelings and let them out. I haven't wanted to cry.

And I am happy, mind you. I really am. I have so much for which to be grateful. My son is home safe - and whole. This also kind of engenders some feelings of guilt for that but I know it is a normal feeling to be both joyful and to feel a bit of guilt so - I'm okay with that. I have good health, my marriage is good, my family members are all healthy, I KNOW that I am so blessed. I am grateful for and happy with all of these things and many, many more.

And this old world - oh man. How can I keep from crying? When I see so many sorrowful and deadly things going on in the world, all of them deserving of, each of them calling out for tears to be wept for them.

So, I will hold off for a little while more to really post. I have to find a balance and not be so vulnerable to just bursting into absolute sobbing when I think too long (and that can be just a nano-second!) about our beautiful GIs and their situations. I can do no one any good if I am a blubbering mess!!!

Keeping all our GIs in my prayers - and their loved ones, who also serve.

Life is Good

2006-12-04T11:12:00.000-05:00

My soldier, my hero, my son has been home now for almost a month - I mean actually here in the flesh, with stuff all over my house which had seemed large and roomy theretofore but now seems cluttered and MESSY and that's really not totally horrible. I may have lost my mind but it doesn't seem entirely unusual now to have to step over a pile of laundry and a couple of weapons in order to access my computer. :>

He is home from Iraq, he is home from war, he is home from the Army. In fact he will officially muster out as of December 15th.

I am so proud of him I could just burst and for those who embrace their anti-war sentiments, their anti-America sentiments, their Bush-hatred sentiments like lovers they wish to hold ever near - I can only say how sorry I feel for the empty, cold inability to EVER have a clue how this feels.

Yes, I was worried about him for every instant of his deployments. Yes, I prayed constantly for his well-being, his safety, and - indeed- for the end of violence in the world. But there will always be violence and hatred and evil in the world. Our GIs do not, are not, never will BE that evil. They are what stands between good and evil in the world - even if, even when some few of them choose to go that easy road and walk the path of evil themselves.

They are heroes. They stand when their nation - OUR nation - asks them to, where our nation asks them to, how our nation asks them to stand. They stand in the freezing cold, in the vilest heat and dust and filth you could never even imagine. They stand and face cowards who have kidnapped a religion and claim to be 'chosen by god' and 'the one true faith' and 'the religion of peace.' Peace? When it is acceptable, normal even, to hide behind women and children and shoot at whoever they have decided is their enemy? That is peace? That is good? That is what God wants? No, and no, and no. That is evil, war-mongering, hatred for self-serving, immature and irresponsible liars and despots.

And our GIs stand - so that Americans can sleep peacably in their beds at night. Our warm, soft, clean beds while GIs sleep in noise, in dirt and dust and mud and cold and heat and squalor - because that's what they have at the moment. They stand so that Americans can hold and voice opinions even against the stand of our GIs, even against the GIs personally.

I do recommend to those hate-mongering-morons - don't you start, even START to say or begin to act in a negative manner toward these our heroes, past or present around a GI-mom. No, not a mom who is a GI - a mom OF a GI. I don't think the military is fully aware of the secondary army/navy/air force/marine force - that would be those of us who also serve -- moms, dads, siblings, spouses. Had anything happened to my child I was willing to be armed and air-dropped in to clean house - to take out any and everyone who had harmed him. And I'm a pretty peace-able person!!!

Thank you to our military men and women - whenever, where ever you have served. Thank you to our second force - those who also serve for the fear, anxiety, breath depriving terror of your service!

Now my son is home. I will write about some of that later, but know that I do not forget those who are not at home, those who are not safe, those who are injured. I do not forget and I keep you all in my prayers. God bless and keep you all.

To Honor our Veterans

2006-11-10T15:10:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is the official holiday to honor our Veterans.
I post this today to honor my husband - an Air Force Viet Nam Veteran. I honor him for his time in the service of our nation during an unpopular war. I honor him for doing his duty, for standing when he was asked to do so. I honor him for traveling home in civilian attire because he was told to for his own protection because in that time and day he might have been spat upon (spitting should be a criminal offense punishable by death - okay only if it's on or at another human), beat up, harrassed and called a baby killer for serving his nation.

I honor a friend of ours, Rod "the M&M man", another Viet Nam Vet who was told when he was in D.C. with another serviceman (and I apologize to him for forgetting his branch of service) in that ugly time to leave a restaurant because the owner was fearful for his property as there were so many protesters in the city at the time.

I honor my son Troy, recently redployed from his second tour in Iraq. I honor him for being my hero - for doing what was hard and lonely and acting with honor and strength in OIF 1 & 4.

This generation of military men & women are volunteers, every one. Oh what moron (you know the one - the rich, pickle fortune marrying cowardly liar who claims his own 'veteranship' when it serves his purpose) calls men and women stupid whn they volunteer to serve their nation. These volunteers may not all be the brightest bulbs in the fixture, yet they all shine. And the many are intelligent and honorable soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines. The vast majority of them serve with honor, with courage, discipline, intelligence, compassion and let me reiterate - honor.

That one word - honor - may be precisely what the aforementioned moron (aka Kerry) can never understand, never appreciate, never even begin to comprehend or SEE its very existence. You see, you must have it within you yourself in order to see it in another, in order to even know what it is, and I don't believe honor or integrity are in the makeup of that individual nor is it in the makeup of many of the politicians we have in office today.

God bless and keep all of our military -- men, women, all branches, all MOSs - who served with honor and integrity. All who suffered fear, discomfort, lack, and carried on anyway. All who did what they were asked to do to stand for freedom, to stand for America, to protect the interests of a great nation. Thank you. Thank you to the families, who also serve. Thank you to those wounded and worn. Thank you to those who made the ultimate sacrifice -- dying for my freedom. I understand now, after 2 deployments in an increasingly "unpopular" war, how much is at stake every single moment of every single day.

Thank you.

The Cool Dad Affair

2006-10-23T11:56:00.000-04:00

So there we were - Troy - my soldier-returned-home-from-war son, my husband Ruben, myself, my sister Linda and her son Malcolm, my sister Nancy and her sons Jamie & Jackson all in Clarksville, TN getting ready to go out to dinner. Troy is getting dressed in his Perry Ellis suit (I told you - he is READY to be a civilian and he is also quite a clothes-horse.) As he ties his tie, young Malcolm says "you look like my dad getting ready for work." Troy, always the modest one, replies "Well then your dad must be a real cool dude." Malcolm jumps off a proverbial cliff by saying "well, actually, my dad is not cool."

Oh-oh. HUGE MISTAKE.

Troy immediately says "What the heck are you talking about?!" - please note, even though he is JUST returned from Iraq he edits his language around this young (10 year-old) cousin.

He jumps into a veritable litany of exactly how off-base Malcolm is and why - "Not cool?? Your dad is the coolest! Before you were even born he used to take us out on the lake in his boat and he would let us drive the boat (with absolute patience and gentle direction giving might I add) -- he let us shoot his pellet-guns--he took us to ball-games --he runs tri-athalons -- he went to AFRICA - AFRICA to help build clinics (with Engineers Without Borders) -- he climbed Mount Ranier -- he is always doing something cool -- he is the ULTIMATE cool dad. What are you talking about?? Have you lost your mind?"

Mind you, Troy is the model of what is cool for his younger cousins, and has always been cool to them. If HE says someone is cool - well he is an authority on this. And, I must add, that he has gotten out of that stage (long-since) where too many people think 'cool' is - that place of trying so hard to be what one perceives other people think is cool. Troy long ago attained the comfort level of being who he is and confident in his self that is what 'cool' REALLY is.

This conversation continues as we all gather and everyone contributes as Malcolm, for once dumb-struck, listens in a state of awe as we all add some tidbit he had not considered about David (his dad).... We get to the restaurant and are still talking about this and Malcolm finally is so convinced that he ventures to say "well, I only said he might not be cool." Troy is not letting him off the hook so easily and I assure you we all love Malcolm and wouldn't torture him with ridicule so the correction is made "Oh, no little dude, you said "My dad is not cool."

Suffice it to say that after this evening spent together Malcolm probably has a whole new outlook on "cool" and has been adequately brought to a realization that his dad - IS COOL.

Of course, when we get together in Huntsville with Dave, naturally we tell him about the conversation and the results. David is a truly kind person, a modest person, and as well as being cool, he is also a really good dad. He takes it in with a bit of a twinkle in his eye, then directs - well that's enough then. He lets Malcolm "off the hook."

I told you he was a cool dad.

Coming soon to a home near you...

2006-10-19T10:07:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't blogged in for a bit so I'll have to play catch-up a bit!! First of all - check out tgslTakoma's blog - (http://tgsltakoma.blogspot.com) for her October 18 posting. I'm thinking Takoma that, indeed it's got to be the Crimson Tide leanings!! Just kidding - my husband's a Gator!!

We had a fabulous get- together in my home to celebrate my son's return from Iraq. Quite the family gathering and both sides of the family were well represented! Both of my sisters, their spouses and 3 of the 4 nephews made it for my DNA group. Dad's gene pool was represented by dad, mom #3 (Sorry, Marilyn - "mama P" -- the mother of Troy's best friend since they were 3 years old -- was really his other mother first), the 'Don' of the family - who is both great-uncle and godfather to both my boys, his oldest daughter (who is really quite gorgeous and a sweet, dear person), Grandma C, and uncle Frank. The beauteous Maria (sweet girl friend) and, of course, "mama P" and group were there. Troy introduces his buddy Andrew as "my brother from another mother" - they have been pals for 22 years now!!!!

We all had a good time and were all delighted to have such reason to celebrate. Troy commented in his "speech" to the effect "okay, I'll admit that enlisting was the worst decision I could have made."

Before the lunatic fringe goes off let me say right here and now - what a load of mularkey that is!!! I must add, here are the reasons why:
1> He served his country -- for 2 deployments to a harsh, bitter land (my description) he stood where he was asked to stand, he did what he was asked to do. This was a hard thing, a difficult thing, a dangerous thing. He comported himself with honor and stood.
2> The military was good for him. Does he currently have some resentments for time lost form his "real life" - yeah. Big deal, he'll get over it. He is whole and healthy and there stands a man where there had stood a boy.
3> There are such atrocious, ridiculous anti-American tirades all around - MSM, the UN, politicians - yes, unfortunately they seem to be mostly Democrats, "celebrities", etc. that it has to get these young returning combat veterans off center - and still, they are mostly good guys (and girls) who upon leaving the military just want to get on with their lives.
4> Now that he has been through the military experience - where he got many new and useful skill sets - he is ready to go to school where before he was so ready to never under any circumstance consider such a thing before.

5> When you fight for freedom anywhere, you fight for freedom everywhere. That IS what he did in Iraq. Maybe some of the things were silly, stupid things on their own - (okay, remove the maybe from the commentary) - nonetheless he went and fought for freedom and that matters. He did something that matters.

And why did I say "unfortunately they seem to be mostly Democrats" in point 3 above? I am a registered Democrat. I am so appalled at what BOTH parties are blaming each other for and yet - oh my - the Democratic party has gone anti-American, anti-military, anti-God. They have gone out of their individual and collective mind(s)!!!! Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Charlie Rangel, the deservedly despicable (in my opinion) John Kerry, Jack Murtha, Ted Kennedy, and oh I'll be unpopular with a certain crowd for saying this name - Hillary Clinton - these represent who exactly? NOT ME!!! I know the war is losing popular ground, if you will - does it also need to lead to the actual destruction of our nation and our way of life? Absolutely, if these nut-jobs have their way - which they seem to be doing. Looks to me like I'll be voting mostly Republican this ballot!! If only I could personally vote out those aforementioned - yes, I know Howard Dean is only head of the DNC-you follow my thinking, stop being difficult - and maybe send them to Gitmo for a tour of duty - both as guards and then a tour as prisoners without their entourages, without their yea-saying go-fers, without their beloved TV cameras, and especially without all their privileges, their celebrity which they adore and which they cling to with an addiction and a desire to continue for their lifetime that I believe cannot be broken. There are more, of course, and certainly the so-called celebrities of the entertainment world should also be mentioned with disdain, resentment, and despair for the simple STUPID which they wield and the complete unawareness of how abolutely stupid, ignorant, self-serving, and self-promoting they are.

Okay - better sto before I go off on a REAL diatribe!!

More to follow sooner than later!!

Coming Attractions...

2006-09-29T17:14:00.000-04:00

It's an absolutely gorgeous day here and I am enjoying it greatly. I am once again on tenterhooks as I await the long expected and anticipated 'block leave' that starts SOON. Okay, this time 'soon' really does mean soon - like starting Sunday.

So my little son (SO contrary to the truth - he is 6'3", incredibly handsome if I do say so myself [particularly as he looks so much like me he could be my masculine clone], built like a ROCK - a fine rock, and calls me short (I AM NOT SHORT!!!, just not as tall as him....)) will be coming home soon on leave and has assigned me the welcome home celebration.

If that sounds like a complaint it fully is NOT. I enjoy entertaining and I love to have this reason to celebrate and I even am looking forward to seeing almost all of the people invited!!! It should be pretty interesting as there will be family members from my side of the family AND family members from my EX-husband's family as well. Don't get me wrong - I harbor no negative feelings toward my ex and I LOVE his new wife (I call her my new wife) - it's just that it could be quite an interesting crush......

Particularly as there tends to be the occasional break out of fighting - even sometimes physical - on the paternal side there and I just will not have strife in my home. No need to borrow trouble, and having my family there when most of the family paternal members have not seen them since my wedding in 1975(!!!) should keep most on good behavior....

Well, I will laugh anyway.

OH MY GOD DO I EVER HAVE TO CLEAN THIS HOUSE!!!!!

ttfn - gotta sweep, dust, vacuum, mop, organize, etc., etc., etc.

Oh Frabjous Day, Calloo, Callay!!

2006-09-16T09:45:00.000-04:00

I didn't want to post this prior to the 9/11 tributes so as not to take away from them. Last week, Tuesday September 5th, to be exact, I received a phone call in the late afternoon from the Frog Lady. That is - the Family Readiness Group Leader.. It was short notice but it was joyous news, indeed.

My son returned home from his second tour in Iraq on Thursday September 7th, 2006!!!!!

It's amazing how God works these things out!! My older son's truck had completely died. Mind you we live out in the 'country' now and this was presenting a bit of difficulty. His boss asked him Monday if he would consider trading his Thursday day off for Tuesday instead. He said yes and so on Tuesday we went car shopping and in fact he GOT a new car. We spent most of the day at the dealership and I had been home for about an hour or two when the FRG call came. Wow.

So I hang up from the FRG lady and I'm ready to go tell my husband when I have to stop a minute and fight away tears. Then I realize I need to tell my son's father first and do so. THEN I go tell Ruben (spouse) and what a great relief!! He had advised his job that this would be coming soon, would likely be on short notice and that he would be taking the time to attend the welcome home with me. (He didn't get to come last time as he had a job related something that he had to attend.)

I should tell you that I was absolutely beside myself. I truly could not think straight! Someone asked me a question that should have been an easy answer and I had to tell her - and thank God she is a dear friend whom I love - "I'll have to get back with you on that." I hardly knew whether to breathe or pass out!!!

At any rate, after notifying everyone I felt I should, I packed up my suitcase (thanks be that my husband was out for the evening at a commitment he had!!!) and the next morning we left for Huntsville, Alabama.

Why Huntsville, Alabama you may well ask. Both of my sisters live there, it's conveniently close to Fort Campbell, Ky, and we would be caravanning up together. Troy's last redeployment both my sisters, their spouses and most of the nephews were able to attend with me. This time I had Ruben, both sisters, and two (out of 4) nephews with me. Thursday morning we leave at the (excuse the language) butt-crack of dawn so as to get to the base in time for the meet and greet. We hit traffic well South of Nashville whereupon the conversation turns to 'maybe we should bypass Nashville.' The thing is - at this geographical location there IS no bypassing Nashville. PERIOD. Once we get past this maybe 30 minute slow down to a crawl we make excellent time. We come to the HOV (High Occupoancy Vehicle) lane where it says 2 or more occupants required. Great!! There are 2 in our vehicle, 4 in my sister's vehicle so we hit it and fly. Oops - here comes some knuckle-head with Arkansas plates in an SUV and he is all by his lonesome. He cuts in front of us BARELY missing us and stays ahead of us until he sees a Tennessee State Trooper and a guilty conscience over takes him (or perhaps experience with receiving what I understand is a pricy ticket for breaking this law) and he cuts out of the HOV lane trying to avoid detection. Not very well, of course, because this really draws the attention of the State Trooper who promptly pulls him over. We are applauding as we drive past.

We get to Fort Campbell in time to spare (this trip, by the way, was filled with back and forth phone calls - hurray for cell phones!!) and pull in to Gate 7, get our instructions and the bus ride to the hangar. Our flight and ceremony of interest is 253, scheduled for -- oh wait, it's changed from 11:30 am to 1:30 pm to 11:45 am already by this time. It is, however, scheduled.

Turns out the three, yes THREE flights scheduled to come in on this glorious and beautiful early part of the day are clumped together to within 15 minutes of each other. Oops. The powers that be realize that there is no way to get 3 different groups landed, deplaned, greeted (which is like 20 minutes), and out again in only a 15 minute time frame between landings. Okay - they will get all 3 planes landed, emptied, have the men "park" their equipment outside before marching in to the hangar and combine it all into ONE ceremony. Of course, do not forget, the military is now dealing with 3 plane loads worth of family members (read civilians) as well. They realize a bit belatedly that dealing with all of us civilians is a bit - okay, a LOT - like herding cats. We hear "orders" over the intercom that they want everyone outside the hangar to see the planes land and that THEN they will let us back in. Having been through this before I will tell you (and, in fact I did tell another family group so they could make an informed decision about leaving or not... yes, think herding cats) it is really exciting to see the plane in the sky. It really is. You don't think it will be, but all of a sudden just spotting that plane high in the sky, knowing YOUR soldier is on it puts you in a screaming jumping up and down flag waving frenzy of excitement. I kid you not. Unfortunately all these other people are in the same frenzy and unless you are at the very front you are NOT going to see and recognize your soldier as he comes off - come on, they may vary in height and skin color but they are all wearing the same identical thing, they all have on their helmets, their equipment THEY LOOK ALIKE and if you are at the front, you are not going to be able to get near the floor when you get back in the hangar. We stayed in the hangar. What, 101st would demote us? To what? I'm the mom, thanks - I will still be the mom.

Because there were 3 plane loads full, the men (read soldiers, non-sexist - there were a few females, after all) had to wait outside until everyone was deplaned and had "parked" their equipment. No way was there going to be room on the floor of the hangar for all those soldiers, their equipment ( yes that includes their weapons!) and family members too!

Last time, when the men marched in, Troy stopped directly in front of where I was sitting, one man in. This time he stopped directly in front of where I was sitting, one man in.

I WAS SO EXCITED I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I WAS. I was not alone in this. I don't believe I have ever heard quite this decibel level of enthusiastic carrying on!!! Ever. The reception committee did their little ceremony - which you could not really understand because the murmur of excited civilians kept an echo in the hangar - and FINALLY!!! we were able to meet and greet our GIs.

Now I know, my son had taken mid-tour leave in May and I had seen and hugged him then. No matter. It was so good to put my arms around this young MAN and know he was really home on American soil and safe.

The Huntsville contingency and my husband and self stayed over night in Clarksville and took Troy out to dinner - I'll have to remember to relate the "cool dad" incident at another time. My sisters had to leave Friday morning but we stayed over on Friday night as well and we had gone shopping with the young Tab-meister en masse after dinner Thursday evening. My son was tired and crashed with us at the hotel on a roll-away. Somehow that helped me rest easier - he was right there and now I could start to sleep again after a year of not....

That is all I want to relate at this time - joy, joy, joy - my son, my soldier is home safe from the war.

In Honor of Michael Joseph Duffy - 1 of 2,996

2006-09-11T07:11:00.000-04:00

The morning was perfect, an indicator of a beautiful late summer day. The oppressive heat of such a short time ago was gone. The sky a clear crystal blue, the sharp beauty of it a comfort and a promise of the coming day, the coming season, the wonder of life itself.

Michael Joseph Duffy, age 29. What had his morning been like? Had he had a fun weekend with family and friends? I like to think his Monday had been a good day, a good start to his work week. He was a bond salesman and likely on h is way up the corporate ladder. This day, this lovely morning - did it hold promise for good? How could it not? He was young, handsome, beloved by his family, a vibrant part of life, a jovial member of his circle of friends. Ah, with a name like Michael Joseph Duffy - wouldn't that be a good Irish boy's name? Wasn't he blessed and beloved by God, our almighty father? Oh, yes, indeed - mightily blessed.

And in to work he would have gone, maybe considering a day of 'playing hooky' to enjoy the day. But responsibility called and he answered.

This day, this beautiful day of promise was Tuesday September 11, 2001.

This day would end in tragedy and sorrow for too many. This day would see our nation attacked. This day would be the day America the Beautiful would be filled with sorrow, would be bent by the weight of the tears of our whole nation.

Remember, remember the knife thrust to the heart of the US. Remember that this young man, this vibrant young man full of potential, full of life, full of energy was murdered that day five years ago.

Consider this -- for eleven days his family hoped and prayed and cried a river of tears that they would have a miracle, that he would be okay, that he had only been injured and unconscious, perhaps. This murder victim -- for that is precisely what he is -- was not confirmed dead until September 22, 2001. Eleven days his family held in suspense, suspecting, fearing the worst because who could have survived such an atrocity? Eleven days of torture as they tried to hold on to the hope of a miracle for them, a miracle for Michael, knowing, knowing, fearing as the little thought ran through their minds - who could survive such an atrocity. Some did, of course. Some lucky few of the people who had not gotten out did survive.

Can there be a healing? There must be a healing. This young man who bore hopes and dreams and promise for a bright future is our nation. I do not minimize the sorrow of his loss. I have great empathy for those who loved him and lost him. God rest him, God ease the pain of his loved ones. Michael Joseph Duffy - one of our nation, representing our nation, the sorrow and the joy of our nation. Honor him this day, honor all of those lost this day. Our nation was attacked. This young man was attacked and murdered.

This was not his fault. This was not the fault of the United States. What stupid drivel is that? This is a personal, unwarranted attack - not on our nation alone - but on every individual in our nation, every individual in the world.

His family takes it personally. We all need to take it personally. To honor those murder victims, to honor those who tried to rescue them, to honor the families of all whose lives were stolen, we must take it personally. We must fight evil, for evil this was.

Michael, I did not know you. I honor you and say a prayer for you this day. I pray for solace for your loved ones, rest for your spirit, renewal of hope for all who hold honor in their hearts. God rest you and keep you.

Project 2,996

2006-08-25T09:04:00.000-04:00

I have signed up to blog in honor of an innocent victim who was murdered on September 11, 2001. Just a heads up in case any one who reads my blog might be interested. No requirements, eh?

Going to the dentist..

2006-08-24T10:14:00.000-04:00

I went to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned the other day. Good, good, my gums are healthy and my teeth are in good shape. I should tell you that I had rheumatic fever as a child and so I must pre-medicate when I go have something as simple as teeth cleaning done. If I do not do so I run the risk of getting an infection of the lining of my heart. I had oncethought this was like getting the flu, feel bad a few days then zip! - all better. Not so. The infection can linger for months and you feel so bad that you wish you would just die (hmmm, not my idea of a good time!), it can leave you with some serious damage and life long repurcussions, and it can and probably will shorten your life. None of these sound like good things to me, thus I premedicate. It's like 4 horse pill sized capsules of antibiotics an hour before your procedure. Makes me feel queasy but queasy for a short period of time seems like a fair trade-off for the potential consequences of not!!!

Now once I get to the dentist with my flossed, brushed teeth and my Tri-Oral mouth-washed breath (I love this mouth wash - it really works. My husband refuses to use it because he says it tastes foul. He sometimes is told he has no choice but to use it when he has indulged in garlic rich foods because it works!!), I go sit in the chair and they start cleaning my teeth. You know the little dnagerously sharp little instruments they use? From my perspective, which is admittedly a bit strange, it seems as if they are crocheting my teeth and this makes me laugh. My dental techs have likely always thought me a bit wierd. I'm sure this is confirmed in their minds when they apply the polishing paste. You see, I like to crunch it. I don't know why - maybe I just want to be sure to get that stuff deep in my teeth crevices to be sure they are CLEAN!!! It is satisfying to me somehow and I always get a little crunching in before I let them rinse it out.

Then comes the time for them to floss. I never let them. They can tell my gums are in good shape so they concede that they don't have to do so. My teeth are really tight together, particularly in the back, and it feels like most floss is as thick as a car tow cable so I only use one particular kind that I have found is thin enough and strong enough and it tastes minty fresh too - what's not to love there? Except of course it IS floss and who loves to floss their teeth?

Then the dentist comes in checks my teeth and tells me I have one in the back that is falling apart. Oh good. He takes pictures of it to send to the insurance company and yes, indeed, the corners of the tooth are falling off - seems I'm grinding my teeth in my sleep. Me? I NEVER used to... could I possibly be under any stress?

hmm, what was the name of this blog again? Oh yes - I have a bit of stress in my life.

It is not ONLY that my son is on his second tour of duty in IRAQ (read HELL) - it is that and all the other stupidity that relates to it. People claiming they support our military but not the war, not the President, not our being in Iraq at all. People politicizing things that are related to the war on terror and denying that we are in a war on terror. People protesting everything related to it and supporting Cindy Sheehan and Code Pink, denying that we should be doing any thing about the evil that is in the world. What the ????? Who would support an organization or an individual who supports the destruction of our nation and our way of life? - oh, yes Cindy Sheehan and Code Pink - friends of Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro, hezbollah, insurgents in Fallujah, communism, etc., etc., etc.

You know, we have the right in this country to have any opinion we want. That is so awesome! My son, so many sons, fathers, brothers - and women in the military as well - are in part fighting for our rights. When you fight in support of freedom anywhere, it is fighting for freedom everywhere - but I guaran-damned-ty you that my son is NOT fighting for someone's right to destroy my freedoms, to marginilize me as a human being by supporting the ridiculous God-minimizing-women-hating behaviors of radical Islam (okay, in my opinion Islam in general), or for any ones' right to say or do something that as the mother of a military man who is in the line of danger puts an onus burden of pain on my heart. In fact, I take it very, very personally that my son fights for MY rights. And I think that if your rights step on my heart - he is fighting for my right to punch your lights out!!!!

Well, he is a male - you know they tend toward physical expression of their opinions. I may punch your lights out verbally but I think he would be amused and proud of me if I were to literally punch the lights out of someone who was being an a--hole to me..

Come to think of it -considering the stress level don't be too surprised if I literally resorted to fisticuffs!!!!

In the meantime - maybe I should look for a mouth guard to wear while I sleep or attempt to sleep....

the countdown nerves

2006-08-19T15:14:00.000-04:00

Okay, surely it MUST be that the countdown is on..... Soon my soldier, my son, my hero will redploy. That means he will return from his deployment in Iraq, if you do not know. I put that in because I have mentioned it to a few friends and they are clueless as to what I am talking about. One even said "What!! They can't send him again!!" Okay, the answer to the question in that statement is, yes - the Army can send him again where they will. However, they are "sending" him homeward this time so YAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!

Now, mind you, in the military his impending redployment has this broad time frame reference. So he could be on board a plane anywhere from next week to next month unless... And 'unless' could, indeed, occur. So it's like saying - oh, moms will get this one - your baby is due somewhere around (whatever date). Ah, yes - my first one was supposedly due mid June or thereabouts.. nope - early June. My second was due earlier than birth date and yet my last check up the doctor said he'd see me in 2 weeks. No, I knew THAT wasn't gonna happen.

So I am on tenterhooks with my heart in labor, if you will!!! Makes you kinda distracted, you know? I am going to a pot luck going away party this afternoon for some Aussie friends and I am making my famous World's Best Pound Cake. (yes, it IS the world's best.. You know what you know.) So I forgot to let some of the ingredients come to room temperature, oh - even had to take them out of the FREEZER!!!! Thank goodness I have the Kitchen-Aid stand mixer!! That added to the prep time, though! Then I finally get it in the oven and am cleaning up the bowl when I realize I have forgotten to add the vanilla extract! So out it comes, the bowl gets washed and dried, the batter gets gently poured back in so I can add the flavoring, the pan gets washed, dried, and RE-sprayed so I can put the batter back in and THEN it gets put in the oven. Egads!

And, with several things to do and seemingly a million and one of them at that, I find myself going around in circles starting one to pick up another to put it down and pick up a third and find my way back to the first wondering what the??? How did I forget to finish this? Only that thought is quickly replace with another something to do and round and round it goes!!

Hanging in here with excited anticipation!!!!

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

2006-08-08T09:22:00.000-04:00

Okay - at last I am back. I really was only gone for not quite 2 weeks.... The saga goes like this: (please note, this may be a bit graphic for the feint of heart at first...)

We (my husband and myself) leave on our little road trip. First stop - Mobile, Alabama. Okay, that is really a pretty short jaunt from Tallahassee, Florida. So?? This is our vacation!! We spent the night at the home of some friends who have retired there and have built a beautiful home on the river. They started construction after us and finished up in the same general time frame. She is awesome at decorating and they have some beautiful antiques with which to decorate so their home looks complete. We are not there yet - at least in part because I haven't fully decided what I want to do in each room.... oh well... We had a lovely visit with them and their 2 absolutely cute grandchildren. Tuesday morning we get up and drive further west. That night we sleep in Shreveport, Louisiana. Next morning, we get up and head to Dallas. In case I haven't mentioned, I am a Mary Kay Consultant and we are going to attend Seminar! I was really excited about this and quite pleased that Ruben was going to attend also. There are spouse classes and also spouse functions to attend. He chose to go on the Aviation Experience, which should be right up the alley of an ex-Air Force member! WE got there early enough on Wednesday to get to tour the manufacturing facility AND the Mary Kay Headquarters building, both of which are interesting. We ran in to one of the directors from our group while touring the Headquarters and met her group and my husband and the attending husband of another consultant met and planned on getting together the next evening while our unit had a get-together pizza party. We ran into my own Director back at the hotel in the elevator and then went to dinner. Some time after dinner my husband started complaining that he wasn't feeling very well, his stomach was upset. My own stomach had been feeling a bit roiling for a while. You know, I love men. I really do. As the mother of two sons I realized long ago that it was incumbent on me to love men on principle and I do love men in all their so-very-different-from-women glory. So saying, when men get sick they are such big babies!! We get ready for bed and my husband complains again and lays there moaning. He feels nauseated, "ooooooohhh. I hate this. Oooooooh." I, on the other hand, love feeling this way??? NO!! I get him a trash can and grab one for myself. He continues to moan intermittently, while laying there in a very comfortable bed. I get up from same bed and head to the bathroom. There I get the privilege of, shall we say ejecting ingested items in both directions? Oh, yea. Sick as a dog. I have multiple trips with this rare privilege, to the point I name the trash can Betty (first name that popped into my apperently delirious head) as I have developed a personal and intimate relationship with her. Ruben is asking me, "Do you think we should call a doctor?" He has simply been feeling poorly at this point. "No, let's just see what happens, here." After my fourth visit or so, Ruben decides to give up the battle and go to the bathroom himself to just stick his finger down his throat and get it over with. Oh, yes. We have gotten food poisoning. He does "eject" a couple of times (orally) and when I tell him to drink some water he doesn't want to because he will "only throw it up." Yes, but SOME of it will be absorbed, you don't want to get dehydrated and it's better to have SOMETHING to throw up than dry heaves!" He agrees with that logic and drinks some water. I'm thinking 'well, I should be feeling better in the morning so I will still get to attend Seminar. There is SO much info available and I am really looking forward to this!! And the spouse class is like 3 in the afternoon so Ruben will be better and able to attend that, too!'
Right.
Needless to say we spent the day in bed. I realize at some point that even saying the word "pizza" may make me vomit. The THOUGHT of smelling pizza seems like a very bad idea. I call my directors and leave them messages that we have food poisoning and will not be able to do anything this first day. Great.
Well, ever the optimist, I think 'tomorrow is the spouse activity and Ruben will be able to go to that and I will still get to attend the classes planned for Day 2. I do manage to get up and get to the convention center for breakfast and the morning classes. Ruben agrees to meet me at the convention center for lunch as he figures he cannot make the Aviation Experience activity. We have, at this time eaten only crackers, bananas, 7-Up and Pepsi since we got to the point of feeling better than the Wednesday evening gross and disgusting awful we felt. This is NOT to say we felt good. But we would take better than any day!
We do meet for lunch and realize that we are through for the day. We head back to our room to hibernate more - missing awards night, and even Saturday morning decide it would be better to go ahead and leave rather than attend the closing session (which I would also have like to attend!!) as we didn't know how long we would be able to hold out and we needed to get to Amarillo that day. We actually did alright driving. We were careful about eating!! I had a small hamburger with only pickles and ketchup (my choice) that tasted like the best hamburger either side of the Mississippi!! Sunday morning we get up and head to Santa Fe, New Mexico. We had 3 nights scheduled there and really felt SO MUCH BETTER!!! Great thing about food poisoning - once you are done, you are done!! No lingering malaise, no lingering nausea. We both felt great! Just cautious about food.
At any rate, the rest of our trip was great! We love Santa Fe and will return there again! WE shopped and toured and visited gallery after gallery. This may not sound like your cup of tea but it is right up our alley and there is so much beauty in Santa Fe. One day we drove up to the mountains just because. How glorious! I was raised in Southern California and I do miss the mountains. I am quite happy in North Florida, mind you. I just love the mountains.

We went to San Antonio (yes, drove from Santa Fe, NM to San Antonio, TX in one day), where Ruben has a brother and a sister. We visited with them and had a lovely time before we had to head home. Stopped in Hammond, LA for the night and then got home on Saturday.

In the meantime, we had had a power outage (a not uncommon occurrence where we are out in the boonies) and my PC was unable to link to the internet. My modem had fried. So now, after contacting Dell (I love Dell!) and working through every imaginable fix with the tech, we concuured that the modem needed replacing. The tech put in an order for a new one (love extended warranty!!!), it has been replaced and now I am just doing my best to tweak the software issues that arise from a hardware change.

Next vacation - we will take crackers, bananas, juice, and pray to avoid food poisoning at all costs!!!

Much needed vacation

2006-07-17T07:36:00.000-04:00

I am leaving on a much needed vacation this morning. My husband and I have not taken a vacation since before we started building this house (we contracted it out ourselves). The house took 15 months - yes 15 MONTHS to build and we have lived in it for 9 months. We hae taken a couple of weekenders up to my sisters' and such but for 2 years now we have not taken a vacatioin and it is more than time to do so. I am excited! We are heading out to Texas and New Mexico and then home. Home is always wonderful to come back to, it's just that right now AWAY from home is also a wonderful concept.

For the duration - pray, pray, pray for our troops. I can assure you I will be praying for them. Of course, I do have my own favorite soldier to pray for - my son. So God keep them all. God bless them and hold them close to Your heart. Protect them and help each of them know that they are loved and missed by their families and that they are loved by You, heavenly Father. Help them know that You are always with them, that your love is endless, merciful, and eternal. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen

YAY!! ITALY WON THE WORLD CUP!!!

2006-07-09T18:49:00.000-04:00

And then - Italy won the world cup. My soldier told me they would... Yes, he told me this morning when he called!! The phone rang at 6:24 am.... We spoke for about an hour, mainly about nothing really. But so good to hear his voice. He is on the short end of his deployment and I am SO looking forward to his return. "Hey, are you going to stay at the same hotel as dad again this time?" (His last redeployment we were indeed at the same hotel and in fact our 2 rooms were in the same exact place but opposite halls....) "That was really convenient." Yes, it was! We even rode around together, my ex, his new wife (who I claim as MY new wife - she's a real sweetie!), and I to go pick up the "boy" when we were allowed to do so!

There is a great post at Cao's blog - (http://www.caosblog.com) about Hatred and its value...

Signing off for now!!!

America, America

2006-07-04T09:38:00.000-04:00

I am so blessed as to be sitting here in my home, at my own computer in air-conditioned comfort. I have electricity (obviously), I have running water, I have food and clothing and shelter and I am as safe as one can be. Surely we have all learned that "safe" is an idea and that no one is truly safe as the evil one (Satan, not UBL {ooh, could that be the same thing??}) can send his minions anywhere at any time and the next breath we take COULD be the last one. And yet, I feel safe and I know that I am as safe as one can be.

And far, far away from here I know my son sits or stands and his "room" may, indeed, have AC, but it's not really home, and I know he is NOT safe and when he goes outside he doesn't have the humid 96 degrees expected here today. He has something like 110 or more and dressed in his BDUs with all manner of kevlar and such he is hot -- damned hot. And he is in danger. Each breath he takes, each beat of his heart....

I love this man, my son. He is my hero. He says that this tour he goes to the pool every day. Good. And does anyone think that means he has this life of leisure and comfort? Then more the fool, they. He stands as a representative of this nation, the United States of America. He stands where far too many do not stand, will not stand, cannot stand. Because of him and those like him we have continued freedom to feel safe, to have a cookout with family members and friends, to shoot off fireworks and ooh and aah over the beauty therein.

This Independence Day think about what those fireworks represent. They represent 230 years of rockets, grenades, bullets, missiles, bombs - what did I miss?? They represent 230 years of brave men - and women - giving their time, their sacrifice, their very life's blood so that we could sit and look at the night sky filled with pretty fireworks display while we drink a beer, a soda, an iced tea, whatever.

My husband is a Viet Nam Vet. His father was a WWII veteran. My son is a combat veteran serving his second tour in Iraq. I know my late mother-in-law, God bless and rest her, cried many bitter, worried tears many years ago when her son was in country. I have cried those same tears. This deployment it is as if I am pretending he isn't over there. But I know he is. I know he tells me he's fine, that it's no big deal, but he is looking forward to mustering out. I know HE knows each moment he is fine. I only know he is fine when I hear from him. Thus pretending he isn't there... I'm not that good at this pretense. I miss him. I love him. I want him home to be full of the mischief and the zest for life that is who he is - oaky part of who he is.

Pray for our service members every day and thank any and every service member, current or former, that you run across. I hear so many so called liberals ranting against the war and that is their right, but stop. You cut into the morale and heart of men and women who DO serve you. They stand in the line of danger so we don't have to. I thank each and every one of them for their valor, for their courage, for their strength. God bless and keep them, every one.

Some Soldier's Mom: Searching for Angels

2006-07-03T11:23:00.000-04:00

This is a good read from another mom for anyone interested. I will post my own Independence Day commentary..soon....

Some Soldier's Mom: Searching for Angels

just a giggle or two

2006-06-29T09:49:00.000-04:00

This guy just cracked me up with his post on how to deal with terrorism, Murtha, etc. Tacobell you so crazy... http://sandgram.blogspot.com See the entry for Thursday June 22 titled "Free Porno and Sex"

Some Soldier's Mom: If Dirt Were $$$$

2006-06-26T06:58:00.000-04:00

Some Soldier's Mom: If Dirt Were $$$$

This is a very good "rant," as she calls it. I wonder do these so-called journalists actually believe they are pursuing a noble cause? Because firstly, they are merely info-tainers - gossips out for glory and the almighty dollar - and they don't seem to care in the least who gets hurt in the process. Their short-sightedness prevents them from seeing that they themselves will also be hurt when - yes, WHEN - their all -consuming "passion" for headlines, circulation, attention results in jihadists succeeding in their evil goal. That goal IS the annihilation of the freedoms our GIs currently fight for and for which so many of our brave fought for, many died for in the history of our country. What the heck is wrong with these knuckleheads??????

Other voices

2006-06-24T11:09:00.000-04:00

There have been some really excellent posts in other voices than my own that I recommend:
Some Soldier's Mom: Cruel and Inhuman Islamists is one. Another is found at Cao's blog -http://caosblog.com/3220 His scriptual reference (for my fellow Catholics who have to look these things up) Ephesians 6:11 is "Put on all the armor that God gives you, so that you will be able to stand up against all the Devil's evil tricks." [Today's English Version] And a MUST read at Michael Yon's http://www.michaelyon-online.com/wp/brave-men-and-demons.htm

Some days it's just better to let others who have their inspiration going to speak for you.

God bless and protect our military men & women, their families and loved ones. Protect them from the enemy - even if the enemy is a well known US politician, the MSM, or higher ups in the military kow-towing to the aforementioned or simply being "politically correct." Political Correctness, by the way, is simply doing what is currently popular, NOT doing what is right.

what are you gonna do...

2006-06-15T10:20:00.000-04:00

He's been here and gone already - for mid-tour leave. I haven't wanted to write, I haven't wanted to think about it, I haven't wanted to feel... But I do think about it, feel about it and about him - a lot..
This deployment has been very different from his first tour. In some ways harder, in some ways not. But mostly I have dealt with it differently. Probably not BETTER than before - just different. I have distanced myself from it, you see. Everything about this deployment is in a jar behind the door (figuratively) and unfortunately this jar is as big as the house and I walk by it pretending not to see it.
And it whispers to me. Night and day it whispers to me about what could be. What if this happens, what if that happens. Horrible uncertainties. And I pray in the night. I pray in the day. I pray that these awful things never happen, that they stay in the realm of uncertainty. I pray that my child comes home safe and whole, healthy and undamaged. And I know he IS damaged. I know his soul has been cut and tattered. That his heart is heavy and worn and he will be sharp around the edges once he gets home. And I pray that this return will also be a relatively short time of that hardness on him.
And how do you bargain with God? Please God, let it happen to some other mother's son? You can't. You want to and you can't and you don't want to pray that and still you can't. So I pray "please God please God please God please God - keep him safe and whole, help me, help him, help him, help him. Hold him close to your heart, Lord. Don't let anything happen to him." And you know that you sort of are praying that if something bad happens it happens to someone else. And you don't mean that - you just want your child safe. It doesn't matter that this "child" is 6'3'' and full grown and a man in ways that you would never hope has to happen to any one. And while you admire the man he has become, the wholeness of what makes him a man - he is still that sweet little child, your little son you held in your arms and vowed you would protect with your very life. This child now grown into a man who is protecting you and the world at large with his very life.
And you act as if everything is fine. You act as if your heart is not on fire with fear and worry. You walk through your days doing your best to give the illusion that nothing is wrong, all is well. And you bear the weight of this lonely tour of duty without the one you want near by. Oh wives and children - God bless you. I'm a mother of an infantryman and I know this fear and worry. I know this lonely journey. How much more does it weigh for a wife? Hang in there. Find a friend who is in the same boat - because all those people who claim they understand - you know THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND... Thank God for those who do. Thank God for prayers...

Islam and such...

2006-05-29T11:08:00.000-04:00

I received the following in an email from a friend and thought I would share it with the world at large. The title was "Apathy Is the Weapon by Which The West Is Committing Suicide." For additional information you may wish to go to http://www.americancongressfortruth.com

Below are selected excerpts from Brigitte Gabriel's speech delivered at the Intelligence Summit in Washington DC, Saturday February 18, 2006. Brigitte Gabriel is an expert on the Middle East conflict and lectures nationally and internationally on the subject. She's the former news anchor of World News for Middle East television and the founder of AmericanCongressforTruth.com.

"We gather here today to share information and knowledge. Intelligence is not merely cold hard data about numerical strength or armament or disposition of military forces. The most important element of intelligence has to be understanding the mindset and intention of the enemy. The West has been wallowing in a state of ignorance and denial for thirty years as Muslim extremist perpetrated evil against innocent victims in the name of Allah.I was ten years old when my home exploded around me, burying me under the rubble and leaving me to drink my blood to survive, as the perpetrators shouted "Allah Akbar!" My only crime was that I was a Christian living in a Christian town. At 10 years old, I learned the meaning of the word "infidel." I had a crash course in survival. Not in the Girl Scouts, but in a bomb shelter where I lived for seven years in pitch darkness, fre ezing cold, drinking stale water and eating grass to live. At the age of 13 I dressed in my burial clothes going to bed at night, waiting to be slaughtered. By the age of 20, I had buried most of my friends--killed by Muslims. We were not Americans living in New York, or Britons in London We were Arab Christians living in Lebanon.As a victim of Islamic terror, I was amazed when I saw Americans waking up on September 12, 2001, and asking themselves "Why do they hate us?" The psychoanalyst experts were coming up with all sort of excuses as to what did we do to offend the Muslim World. But if America and the West were paying attention to the Middle East they would not have had to ask the question. Simply put, they hate us because we are defined in their eyes by one simple word: "infidels."Under the banner of Islam "la, ilaha illa allah, muhammad rasoulu allah," (None is god except Allah; Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah) they murdered Jewish children in Israel, massacred Christians in Lebanon, killed Copts in Egypt, Assyrians in Syria, Hindus in India, and expelled almost 900,000 Jews from Muslim lands. We Middle Eastern infidels paid the price then. Now infidels worldwide are paying the price for indifference and shortsightedness.Tolerating evil is a crime. Appeasing murderers doesn't buy protection. It earns one disrespect and loathing in the enemy's eyes. Yet apathy is the weapon by which the West is committing suicide. Political correctness forms the shackles around our ankles, by which Islamists are leading us to our demise.America and the West are doomed to failure in this war unless they stand up and identify the real enemy: Islam. You hear about Wahabbi and Salafi Islam as the only extreme form of Islam. All the other Muslims, supposedly, are wonderful moderates. Closer to the truth are the pictures of the irrational eruption of violence in reaction to the cartoons of Mohammed printed by a Danish newspaper. From burning embassies, to calls to butcher those who mock Islam, to warnings that the West be prepared for another holocaust, those pictures have given us a glimpse into the real face of the enemy. News pictures and video of these events represent a canvas of hate decorated by different nationalities who share one common ideology of hate, bigotry and intolerance derived from one source: authentic Islam. An Islam that is awakening from centuries of slumber to re-ignite its wrath against the infidel and dominate the world. An Islam which has declared "Intifada" on the West.America and the Wes t can no longer afford to lay in their lazy state of overweight ignorance. The consequences of this mental disease are starting to attack the body, and if they don't take the necessary steps now to control it, death will be knocking soon. If you want to understand the nature of the enemy we face, visualize a tapestry of snakes. They slither and they hiss, and they would eat each other alive, but they will unite in a hideous mass to achieve their common goal of imposing Islam on the world. This is the ugly face of the enemy we are fighting. We are fighting a powerful ideology that is capable of altering basic human instincts. An ideology that can turn a mother into a launching pad of death. A perfect example is a recently elected Hamas official in the Palestinian Territories who raves in heavenly joy about sending her three sons to death and offering the ones wh o are still alive for the cause. It is an ideology that is capable of offering highly educated individuals such as doctors and lawyers far more joy in attaining death than any respect and stature, life in society is ever capable of giving them.The United States has been a prime target for radical Islamic hatred and terror. Every Friday, mosques in the Middle East ring with shrill prayers and monotonous chants calling death, destruction and damnation down on America and its people. The radical Islamists deeds have been as vile as their words. Since the Iran hostage crisis, more than three thousand Americans have died in a terror campaign almost unprecedented in its calculated cruelty along with thousands of other citizens world wide. Even the Nazis did not turn their own children into human bombs, and then rejoice at their deaths as well the deaths of their victims. This intentional, indiscriminate and wholesale murder of innocent American citizens is justified and glorified in the name of Islam. America cannot effectively defend itself in this war unless and until the American people understand the nature of the enemy that we face. Even after 9/11 there are those who say that we must engage our terrorist enemies, that we must address their grievances. Their grievance is our freedom of religion. Their grievance is our freedom of speech. Their grievance is our democratic process where the rule of law comes from the voices of many not that of just one prophet. It is the respect we instill in our children towards all religions. It is the equality we grant each other as human beings sharing a planet and striving to mak e the world a better place for all humanity Their grievance is the kindness and respect a man shows a woman, the justice we practice as equals under the law, and the mercy we grant our enemy. Their grievance cannot be answered by an apology for who or what we are.Our mediocre attitude of not confronting Islamic forces of bigotry and hatred wherever they raised their ugly head in the last 30 years, has empowered and strengthened our enemy to launch a full scale attack on the very freedoms we cherish in their effort to impose their values and way of life on our civilization.If we don't wake up and challenge our Muslim community to take action against the terrorists within it, if we don't believe in ourselves as Americans and in the standards we should hold every patriotic American to, we are going to pay a price for our delusion. For the sake of our children and our country, we must wake up and take action. In the face of a torrent of hateful invective and terrorist m urder, America's learning curve since the Iran hostage crisis is so shallow that it is almost flat. The longer we lay supine, the more difficult it will be to stand erect."

Memorial Day 2006

2006-05-26T08:32:00.000-04:00

He's home!!! He's home for Mid-tour leave only, but home nonetheless. Okay, right NOW he is in Jacksonville with the lovely Maria, but he comes back with her tomorrow. We will be having a family cook-out to celebrate his being here.

Among the things we will celebrate: 1) our soldier home if only for a short time, safe, sound, hale and hearty and his smart-alecky self!!; 2) for me - gratitude for his well being and for the sacrifices - large and small - of all our service members and vets.

Speaking of which, I had the privilege of going with my soldier/son to his Elementary school the other day. One of his former teachers is "another mother" of his. "Mama P," as he calls her, is the mother of his best friend since they were 3 year olds. Her class has been writing him and praying for him and we went to the school to play "20 Questions" for them. They are 4th graders and had plenty of questions. The boys mostly were interested in weaponry and such although remember, these are 4th graders and many of their perceptions originate from movies - oh wait - many of us have perceptions about any and everything that originate from movies!! They had many more than 20 questions to ask including "How long did you go without a shower?" {answer; 1st tour - 3 MONTHS!!} "did you ever shoot a tommy-gun?" {A - that is a WW2 era weapon; no} "What was the scariest, most dangerous thing you did?" {A - Stepping on a mine. I knew as soon as I did -{the wrong area had been cleared!) and froze in place until they deactivated the thing.} His favorite question there made him laugh - "Since you have a buzz cut, what color is your hair?" that would be, in his words "dirty blonde"

When we were at the Jeweler's prior to going to the school they had a few questions for him also! I cannot tell you how very proud of him it made me to hear him tell them; "We need to be there. It doesn't matter whther we should have or should not have been there to begin with. If we were to leave now we would be back in 10 years or so. If I have to be there again so that my kids don't have to go - well fine, I'll gladly do it so they don't have to go - and I don't even have kids yet!"

He harrasses me constantly, this child of mine. It is affectionate and humorous and it is not merely harrasment. He listens to his mother and takes what I have to say to him in. He knows he can trust me to be for him, to help him without taking over, to put his interest and well being first when that is where they should be. He was giving me a hard time about my mattress. I have a sleep number bed (I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!) and he is asserting that I should get a tempur-pedic bed instead since I don't sleep well. I am quite happy with the Select Comfort choice I made, thank you very much. I let him argue his case and just let that flow right past me. I cannot tell him, son - I don't sleep well primarily because of YOU!! I will not put that on him - I wake up in the middle of the night because I worry about him - half a world away in such heat, such danger even here in this his second deployment when things are generally better for him by FAR than they were on his first tour. That doesn't matter. He is in danger regardless and if I have to force myself to unclench my jaw to fall asleep in the first place, if I have to wake up and pray multiple times every night - so be it. And I will not worry this son of mine with my worry.

For every mother of a soldier - service member of any branch, we will always worry and pray and lose sleep. Because each of you is every mother's son (or daughter) and I keep you all in my prayers. Thank you and God bless and keep each of you.

Another mother's son..

2006-05-18T10:21:00.000-04:00

Just a story of one of our wounded warriors that you might enjoy - tearfully, as I did. Thank you, sincerely and a most heartfelt thank you to all of our military men and women, those who are serving, and those who have served, from a blue star mother..
http://haloscan.com/tb/oif3vet2005/114790785071266493

Mother's Day and other oddities

2006-05-15T21:03:00.000-04:00

So I awaken early yesterday - as usual - make my coffee, feed the kitties, wander around. My older son (the one at home) had left me a very nice Mother's Day card and that was nice. Some time later the phone rings. I answer to "Is this (my full, ex-married name - mispronounced)?" This puts out my wary signals and I hesitantly answer "yes". The voice on the other end starts in with "This is Frederick Taylor with The International Brotherhood of Grace. We would like..." You know those tele-marketer, tele-evangelist spiels. I don't listen to them. I ALWAYS politely say "We can't help you this year. Good bye." and I HANG UP. ALWAYS. I do this time as well. Not even thinking about it's being Sunday, it's a bit earlier in the day than usual. The phone rings again. VOTOE: "mom, it's me. " So yes, I hung up on MOTHER'S DAY on my son calling me FROM IRAQ!!! Good God, now I will have to listen to the spiels just to confirm it is NOT my son!!! Ev \erything about his call was done so right!! The voice was totally not like his, the accent, the intonations, everything. The rythm and feel of "the spiel"... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He got me good.

And now I will have to listen to the telemarketers. It's not that I want to be rude to them, I do not want to be rude to anyone and I know that people are really quite horrid to them and I don't want to be ugly or mean either... I just don't want to buy what ever they are selling, regardless...

We had a good little chat after he called back.

So I guess this post stands as a warning to every mother who has a son (or daughter!) who has a bit of mischief in them. Don't hang up too hastily!

Interestingly enough, when I related this story to my sisters they both thought to tell me "the fruit doesn't fall too far from the tree."

Hmmm.

in addition...

2006-05-12T11:49:00.000-04:00

Fighting the blues here, you know. I have so very much for which to be thankful and, indeed I am!! Still, the worry, the fear, the anxiety tries to take over and I get tired of fighting it and that makes it stronger and I even get tired of handing it over to God. Still, I WILL hand it over to God and I pray always for the well-being of my son as well as for the well-being of all our service men. And women!! It's just that as the mom of only boys/men, that is what comes first to your consciousness.

On an up note, my sister is coming to visit next weekend and then my brother-in-law and nephew will join her a couple of days later after their camping trip. Camping, they are all excited about it. Malcolm (nephew) tells me he can hardly wait to pitch their new tent. My Linda (little baby sister) has more my mindset about that; let's 'rough it' at a nice hotel, ooh -- maybe even a spa!! Oh, yeah!

Supposedly my soldier MAY be coming for mid-tour leave at the same time but I know to wait until I have absolute confirmation of that before planning on seeing him. And I know you simply CANNOT put your life on hold in the expectation of what might happen. You have to live your life and I intend to.

All for now...

Some Soldier's Mom: Dear "ER" (the TV show)

2006-05-12T11:48:00.000-04:00

Some Soldier's Mom has a great little post I thought I would share; Some Soldier's Mom: Dear "ER" (the TV show)

Immigration Diatribe

2006-05-02T09:27:00.000-04:00

Wow! Last post April 7th!! And that one a frustrating one.
Glad to see that going by percentages yesterday's "work out" protest was a failure. I entirely get that 1) the immigrants are most certainly NOT "Mexicans." Yes, there are Mexican illegals among them, however it is really easy to call them Mexicans and equally uninformed. These are people from all Central American and South American countries as well as Mexicans. Just because you speak Spanish doesn't mean you are Mexican. My husband is a Mexican American. (That would more accurately be a Texican - and a HUGE Cowboys fan, as would be any other sentient being from San Antonio, Texas!!)
I am about as white a girl as it is possible to me (my soldier has commented to me when I was wearing shorts - "whoa, mom! You've got some of that Casper action going on!") and while on my mother's side my family has been here since revolutionary times, on my father's side I am only 3rd generation American. My father AND my sons are only second generation Americans. Immigrants are what we ALL are, yes go back far enough and even our so-called "Native Americans" immigrated here as well. There is much of great value that immigrants add to our nation. The key here is ADD to. Not demand that this great nation change to accomodate them, but what they can add to our nation to strengthen and enrich all of us. To become 'US' instead of "them." Bring your good values, your foods, your passions, your strengths. Come here - legally - come here and add to the system instead of leaching it dry by NOT paying taxes, not following the rules. I know some people who initially came here illegally from a South American country which shall remain unnamed - and they are working hard to be legal. They pay in to our system. They are good and decent and hard working people who only want to have a better life. They are active in the church community, they long to stay here and contribute, they struggle to help their extended family here, and to live the American Dream.
I guarantee you they were at work yesterday. They show up and do what is expected and work at learning English. Is it necessary to foreswear Spanish? Certainly not! It cannot hurt to know a second language! And to be able to help others in America to learn English - well wouldn't it help to be able to instruct people in the proper American if you can advise them some in Spanish? Of course it would.
I saw on Fox News the 'headline' "Does America have the right to protect its borders?" Well, duh - yes. So-called "liberals" - we must protect our borders from the few of the many - the few whose desires are only to profit by the suffering of others - drug runners, human smugglers, criminals who do not want to be here by the legit means because they would not be welcome. Do some innocents suffer? Unfortunately yes. However - the longing to be here is strong because the US is different from Mexico - Oh ho Vicente Fox you hypocrite - and other nations in that there exists the opportunity to actually improve your life, your fortunes, your very self that DOES NOT EXIST in so many other countries.
So yes, give us your poor, your weak, those longing to be free - but let's not make those here illegally be of greater value than those who are here legally.

igiveupthisisridculous!!

2006-04-07T09:17:00.000-04:00

Okay - I give up. I posted yesterday(April 6, 2006) and somehow I have it archived. I tried copy & paste, and re-posting, I tried reposting I tried, I tried, I tried. So, if you want to read it you may just have to go to Archives. In the meantime - I guess I need to pay more attention next time....

What the???? how did I archive instead of posting????

2006-04-07T09:11:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here, safe at home, blessed by God, living in good circumstances, good standards. I'm sitting here immeasurably blessed because I am living in, born in the United States. I know this. I am grateful for this.
I am grateful that my sons, too are citizens of this great nation. I am grateful that my great-grandmother immigrated to the US when she was 18 years old. I am grateful that I am so fortunate, so beloved by God to be able to live in a nation of such freedom. I am even grateful that my son, this child of my heart, my soldier-warrior-hero child MAN is able to contribute to the well being of our nation, to the state of freedom in the world and in the US by his presence in the military. I am grateful that he is a soldier in the best trained military in the world. I do believe that to be true. I know that he is very good at what he does, always alert, always "on" and so smart, so -- okay, every affirmative thing a mother could say about her son - and that is true. Still, even with the occasional IM, even knowing he is in God's hands, under God's protective, loving care...
I miss him.
I miss his absolutely tormenting me with his sense of the absurd (hmm, I wonder where he got that? Yes, I know - the fruit doesn't fall too far from the tree!), I miss hearing his voice. I even miss NOT seeing him because he does, after all, live on base in KY ("like the jelly" he says - what kind of crazy sense of humor is that!!?) but at least stateside I get to talk to him I do get to see him and I know what is going on in his life. With deployment I have so little information.

Yes, my dear son - I know OPSEC, OPSEC, OPSEC. And it's not that I want to know all the details that I would not share with anyone anyway. It's just knowing the details of your life and activities keeps you connected, keeps me connected. It keeps us aware of those little moments in each others days that then keeps us drifting in the same direction. Of LIFE, of knowing that the other is interested and cares. And I am interested, I do care.
It is even not that worry has grabbed a hold of me and turned me inside out with fear. It sometimes does and each breath I take is painful then, painful with the weight and anxiety that I will NOT give voice to. And every time that worry, fear, anxiety comes jumping up from the ocean depths like a monster from the worst place imaginable I give it to God. Sometimes many, many times a day I give it to God. Sometimes I know easily that God already has it.
Usually I know that God has this child of mine - who is a fine and brave and honorable man - safely in His care and it will all be alright.

And I miss him.

Thursday April 6, 2006 -- redux.

2006-04-06T17:23:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here, safe at home, blessed by God, living in good circumstances, good standards. I'm sitting here immeasurably blessed because I am living in, born in the United States. I know this. I am grateful for this. I am grateful that my sons, too are citizens of this great nation. I am grateful that my great-grandmother immigrated to the US when she was 18 years old. I am grateful that I am so fortunate, so beloved by God to be able to live in a nation of such freedom. I am even grateful that my son, this child of my heart, my soldier-warrior-hero child MAN is able to contribute to the well being of our nation, to the state of freedom in the world and in the US by his presence in the military. I am grateful that he is a soldier in the best trained military in the world. I do believe that to be true. I know that he is very good at what he does, always alert, always "on" and so smart, so -- okay, every affirmative thing a mother could say about her son - and that is true. Still, even with the occasional IM, even knowing he is in God's hands, under God's protective, loving care... I miss him.

I miss his absolutely tormenting me with his sense of the absurd (hmm, I wonder where he got that? Yes, I know - the fruit doesn't fall too far from the tree!), I miss hearing his voice. I even miss NOT seeing him because he does, after all, live on base in KY ("like the jelly" he says - what kind of crazy sense of humor is that!!?) but at least stateside I get to talk to him I do get to see him and I know what is going on in his life.

With deployment I have so little information. Yes, my dear son - I know OPSEC, OPSEC, OPSEC. And it's not that I want to know all the details that I would not share with anyone anyway. It's just knowing the details of your life and activities keeps you connected, keeps me connected. It keeps us aware of those little moments in each others days that then keeps us drifting in the same direction. Of LIFE, of knowing that the other is interested and cares. And I am interested, I do care.

It is even not that worry has grabbed a hold of me and turned me inside out with fear. It sometimes does and each breath I take is painful then, painful with the weight and anxiety that I will NOT give voice to. And every time that worry, fear, anxiety comes jumping up from the ocean depths like a monster from the worst place imaginable I give it to God. Sometimes many, many times a day I give it to God. Sometimes I know easily that God already has it. Usually I know that God has this child of mine - who is a fine and brave and honorable man - safely in His care and it will all be alright.

And I miss him.

This long wait...

2006-03-29T14:54:00.000-05:00

Arising and it is another beautiful day. But then, that is my perception. It's overcast and gray and promises to threaten rain. This is beautiful..
We, my little spoose and myself, had to be at the hospital at 6:45 am. (Husband having a relatively minor procedure that NO ONE wants to have OR to hear about -- trust me.) This early arrival ensures that 1) there is NO WAY I will have time to put my new contact lenses in and 2) there is no way I will have time to apply my makeup before leaving. Even though Tiberius, lord cat of mischief, did indeed rattle the door know at 5 am and again at 5:20. (having been fed the first time and sent to the other room the second time.) What? Am I crazy enough to get up that early? NO WAY. I am happily civilian with no set awakening time. Except- I get up usually by 6 am anyway!! Go figure!

So up we get at 5:45, off to the hospital, hang around waiting for Ruben (the spouse) to be taken back to the procedure room, home in hopes of getting contacts in, makeup on and MAYBE even to eat something prior to taking the eldest to work as his vehicle is in the shop. Okay, 2 out of 3 ain't bad so by lunch time I am freaking starving!!!

Finally - after cleaning kitty boxes, vacuuming, taking trash down to the street, all of this AFTER settlin husband home from the hospital visit in bed to sleep off the effects of the anesthetic I sit down for a few at the PC.

So - here at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, good morning world!

And the wait continues and the weight continues. Oh, not punny - it's just there are days when the weight of waiting for the return of a loved one from war is so heavy and cannot be explained, cannot be understood by any one who doesn't know exactly what this military experience is all about. I so entirely empathize and feel compassion for the wives and children. Because as a parent oh baby it is so not good. Perhaps upon his return stateside I can sleep again through the night. The last time he returned home it still took a while to lose that wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-pray-hard-and-send-him-love-across-the-world syndrome. This deployment IS different and yet, this child of man, this amazing man who is my son, my hero, my inspiration, my head shaking and laughing at him and myself annoyance, is so important to me. How do I share with anyone in a way they can feel how important he is to me? I can't. It takes nothing away from any other important person in my life and all the same, this one is special. This one is different from all the others and I want such joy, such happiness, such LIFE for him. Because he is joy, he is happiness, he is life in so many ways. This is my heart walking around separate from my body. There are a lot of ways in which he is absolutely my clone!! And also ways in which he is who I used to be, who I want to be again. Thus the inspiration, eh? God keep him safe and well and whole. Protect his life, his soul, his body and mind. Bring home and healthy. Help the way home for his spirit - home here on earth, that is - be as easy as the physical journey.

The hunk....

2006-03-22T09:22:00.000-05:00

This is the extremely good looking soldier I pray for constantly. (Extremely good-looking if I DO say so myself!!)
Good lord! How do they move around with all the stuff they carry? I need to order some cool bandanas for him - it will be extremely hot, miserably hot, unbearably hot soon. My sister had found some for him last deployment and he told her on return that he "used the **** out of them!" We'll have to inundate him with them soon!!

Contact lens update - last night they came out with zero difficulty - total time including cleaning, less than probably 2 minutes..
God bless and protect my son and all of our military ment and women. God keep them all safe and help and bless those of us who also serve. Keep us strong, keep us calm, keep us in your loving care..

Monday Morning....

2006-03-20T12:29:00.000-05:00

Whew - a bit of a roller-coaster ride last week. When they (MSM) announced the Operation Swarmer (?) and that it involved the 101st Airborne. Now I know, 101st Airborne is HUGE. It is a Division made up of thousands of troops, many breakdowns therein. It's just that to this mom - and probably all moms, dads, spouses - you may as well just scream their soldier's name as say "101st Airborne Division" -- at least until we know specifically otherwise. So it came as a bit of relief to find out the operation involved the 3rd BCT, as my own son is in 1 BCT....

At any rate, I have been plagued once again by wierd dreams and wakings at odd hours that cause me to desire a nap during the day because I'm not getting enough sleep!!! And when those wakings come, I always start figuring the time in Iraq, trying to think what SPC Tab is doing, and praying, praying, praying, praying, praying. Now I know better than looking at the clock in the middle of the night - but I am no longer able to NOT look at the clock because of Troy's being so far away, in such a dread, dangerous place.

On an up note, I got contacts last week! I have only had to wear glasses all the time (okay only if I wanted to see) for a little more than 2 years and I had really come to a place of HATING TO WEAR GLASSES!!! So I am now motivated to wear contacts and I am loving them! Of course there have been little glitches in the wearing. For example, I went to take them out the first day at the appropriate time, and 20 minutes later I got to try to take the other contact out!! That also took 20 minutes!!! And my right eye, particularly, was quite irritated and red and tender so that I did not wear them at all the next day. That was a good choice as I felt much better the next day and it only took about 20 minutes to get them in(!!) and 10 to get them out that night. It will only improve - last night they came out very quickly and this morning - under 10 minutes, closer to 5, total to get them in.

I was reading some soldier's mom's blog - and must recommend it to all: http://www.somesoldiersmom.blogspot.com

God bless and protect all our brave warriors-- and keep them always in your loving care.

amendment

2006-03-15T08:19:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm a goof. (Woo - there's a news flash!!) The post dated March 2 actually is March 15th. Lest you think I can change the very moons!!!

2006-03-02T14:23:00.000-05:00

A beautiful day here. The sky is that brilliant, clear blue of spring skies here - before the humidity comes slamming in to keep us earth-bound. It's the kind of day you almost think you could fly simply by stepping up into the air because it is so beautiful it must be paradise.

The moon is full - again - and I love the way it hangs low in the sky, ready to fall to earth and fill us with silver luminescence. Of course, I know it never will. Where is your sense of romance and beauty???

I am being plagued again by wierd dreams. Mostly about Troy. Awakening in the night and being pressed into by the weight of the "what ifs." Look at the clock, add 8 hours. What is he doing at my 4 am, his noon? What dangers await him? Oh, anxiety - you are legion. How many times do I have to place him in God's hands, praying for his protection and safety? God keep Troy safe. Lord wrap your protection around my son, keep him safe in mind and body and soul.

I know the answer. And oh, yes - I will place my son in God's hands and pray for his safety and well- being as many times as I wake up and worry. Every day, every night. Every breath I take, every beat of my heart.

The beautiful Maria, Troy's sweet girlfriend, forwarded some photos and I will have to post a couple. One in particular, that causes people to comment "He looks just like you!" He does, too. Only masculine. Oh yeah, and younger....

Well, I must proceed with the day and I must commit to posting more regularly, too! I think it helps and if no other human ever reads a word I write - well, so??? I still need to say what is in my heart and if another soldier's mother finds this blog and finds some degree of comfort in knowing she is not alone in the world of soldier parenting - good.

God's peace and love fill your heart and mind and life. Be His instrument of beauty and grace.

Weather, etc.

2006-02-11T14:12:00.000-05:00

The day here is gray and it was pouring down rain this morning. It's supposed to get clear and then become VERY cold overnight. (Mind you, VERY cold here is upper 20s. Hey, I have become a delicate southern flower and I intend to stay that way. Give me 90 degrees and above with 80 to 100% humidity. You're supposed to swim through the air.... besides - why else do you suppose central air conditioning is my favorite invention of the 20th century????)

I cleaned out my dryer this morning. This is something I do every time I use the dryer with a brush I got (QVC, gotta love them!!) for the purpose of cleaning the lint out from the vent area. However, I had been finding myself most annoyed by continually having to put things back through the dryer 2 and 3 times. So I unplugged it and opened up the front and removed parts to clean out... omigod. It's a wonder the thing had not spontaneously combusted it was so full of lint. I remember now that I had intended to do this when we moved here in October and I had forgotten.. Then I had to have help moving the washer out so I could have room to reconnect the vent pipe in back and then crawl out over, under, around and through the machines (only a slight exaggeration, I assure you!!) so I could get them both pushed back into place and re-plugged in. I couldn't get the plug IN for the dryer so I had to call for help. Now, amazingly enough, the dryer is working and sounds so much quieter than before!!

I wonder what my soldier does for laundry now. Well, I wonder most everything about my soldier. I read some of the other blogs out there - especially the ones by soldiers in the field. You know, the ones that I have been told NOT to read by my son who is there. I have to know, though. It doesn't matter that they make me cry, it doesn't matter that they make me ache with missing Troy and worrying about him. I feel that anyway. They make me feel connected in some strange way, connected to the soldiers and marines who write them as well as connected to Troy who will not write a blog. Or, at least, IF he were to write one I don't think he'd tell me. He wants to protect me, I think, from the ugliness he must deal with and see every day. I know it exists, though. I see it on the news - even MSM, I read it in the other blogs, I know it is, it is evil, it is everywhere. I think he doesn't realize that knowing about it, being aware of it is essential. If you know something wicked this way comes then you can be prepared for it, you can fight it, you can simply be aware and thus protect yourself from at the least the brunt of it.
Let the storm rage on - inside and out. I know the sun will shine down on my head again, and I know I can stand in the shelter and shade by God's grace. Keep all our soldiers, marines, GIs of every flavor safe and whole and well oh God. Bring them home to us, bring them home to us sooner rather than later. And protect us from those fools among us who don't value them and the sacrifices they make. Those may be the more dangerous...

Moving Forward

2006-01-09T08:20:00.000-05:00

Well, that could sound like an ominous portent of one's passing -- but it is not. I want to move forward each day in God's grace to live my life as I am intended to and not be locked in to an attitude of inertia.
I spoke via IM (Instant Messaging) last night to my son. Last deployment there was not access to internet and so I would not know unless there was a phone call that my soldier was alright at that moment in time. With IM (thank goodness for Yahoo!) I know in real, present-moment time that my child, my hero is okay. That is a relief and on the other hand... there is less correspondence and I know this has to be expensive for him!!! Well- those swords are always 2-edged aren't they??

I am so proud of this son of mine. I'm proud of both of my sons - and this is about the son in the army so - there you go...
* I'm proud of him for enlisting - when you know you need the discipline you can only get in the military AND you seek it out - that's impressive!!
* I'm proud of him for developing into a man who sets himself powerful goals and achieves them! He's an expert marksman, an expert at grenades, an expert at knowing his own shortcomings! (and then deciding IF he wants to overcome them or accept them and live with them)
* I'm proud of him for his compassion, his incredible capacity to love.

I'm happy that he has found a sweet, kind, and loving girl-friend -- one he's pleased and proud to bring home to "mama"....

He is my hero and has been for a number of years. God keep him safe, and well; whole in body, mind, and spirit.
Deployment #2 is now 1/4 of the way over. God help ME keep moving forward as I expectantly believe for his well being, for his return home to a life of grace and joy, of love and peace..

New Year - again

2006-01-05T08:39:00.000-05:00

Well, here I sit - a new year and a new blogspot.
I just wanted a fresh start as I wade through the rest of this deployment. Should anyone happen upon this blog I am the mother of an Infantryman in the 101st Airborne who is currently serving his second deployment in Iraq. He is ETS. (End Time Service) That means his actual 4 year enlistment period ended September 5th but he was stop-lossed and is held over for the period of deployment (one year) and will not get out until approximately 4 months after his return from deployment. Now that actually is a good idea as that will give him time to be checked out by the Army to be sure he is physically and mentally sound before he returns to civilian life.
With this blog I hope to have an online outlet for my own journey through the second deployment and if no one read it - that's fine with me....
To which end I will get offline now and actually write this child of mine a letter.