This long wait...
Arising and it is another beautiful day. But then, that is my perception. It's overcast and gray and promises to threaten rain. This is beautiful..
We, my little spoose and myself, had to be at the hospital at 6:45 am. (Husband having a relatively minor procedure that NO ONE wants to have OR to hear about -- trust me.) This early arrival ensures that 1) there is NO WAY I will have time to put my new contact lenses in and 2) there is no way I will have time to apply my makeup before leaving. Even though Tiberius, lord cat of mischief, did indeed rattle the door know at 5 am and again at 5:20. (having been fed the first time and sent to the other room the second time.) What? Am I crazy enough to get up that early? NO WAY. I am happily civilian with no set awakening time. Except- I get up usually by 6 am anyway!! Go figure!
So up we get at 5:45, off to the hospital, hang around waiting for Ruben (the spouse) to be taken back to the procedure room, home in hopes of getting contacts in, makeup on and MAYBE even to eat something prior to taking the eldest to work as his vehicle is in the shop. Okay, 2 out of 3 ain't bad so by lunch time I am freaking starving!!!
Finally - after cleaning kitty boxes, vacuuming, taking trash down to the street, all of this AFTER settlin husband home from the hospital visit in bed to sleep off the effects of the anesthetic I sit down for a few at the PC.
So - here at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, good morning world!
And the wait continues and the weight continues. Oh, not punny - it's just there are days when the weight of waiting for the return of a loved one from war is so heavy and cannot be explained, cannot be understood by any one who doesn't know exactly what this military experience is all about. I so entirely empathize and feel compassion for the wives and children. Because as a parent oh baby it is so not good. Perhaps upon his return stateside I can sleep again through the night. The last time he returned home it still took a while to lose that wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-pray-hard-and-send-him-love-across-the-world syndrome. This deployment IS different and yet, this child of man, this amazing man who is my son, my hero, my inspiration, my head shaking and laughing at him and myself annoyance, is so important to me. How do I share with anyone in a way they can feel how important he is to me? I can't. It takes nothing away from any other important person in my life and all the same, this one is special. This one is different from all the others and I want such joy, such happiness, such LIFE for him. Because he is joy, he is happiness, he is life in so many ways. This is my heart walking around separate from my body. There are a lot of ways in which he is absolutely my clone!! And also ways in which he is who I used to be, who I want to be again. Thus the inspiration, eh? God keep him safe and well and whole. Protect his life, his soul, his body and mind. Bring home and healthy. Help the way home for his spirit - home here on earth, that is - be as easy as the physical journey.
We, my little spoose and myself, had to be at the hospital at 6:45 am. (Husband having a relatively minor procedure that NO ONE wants to have OR to hear about -- trust me.) This early arrival ensures that 1) there is NO WAY I will have time to put my new contact lenses in and 2) there is no way I will have time to apply my makeup before leaving. Even though Tiberius, lord cat of mischief, did indeed rattle the door know at 5 am and again at 5:20. (having been fed the first time and sent to the other room the second time.) What? Am I crazy enough to get up that early? NO WAY. I am happily civilian with no set awakening time. Except- I get up usually by 6 am anyway!! Go figure!
So up we get at 5:45, off to the hospital, hang around waiting for Ruben (the spouse) to be taken back to the procedure room, home in hopes of getting contacts in, makeup on and MAYBE even to eat something prior to taking the eldest to work as his vehicle is in the shop. Okay, 2 out of 3 ain't bad so by lunch time I am freaking starving!!!
Finally - after cleaning kitty boxes, vacuuming, taking trash down to the street, all of this AFTER settlin husband home from the hospital visit in bed to sleep off the effects of the anesthetic I sit down for a few at the PC.
So - here at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, good morning world!
And the wait continues and the weight continues. Oh, not punny - it's just there are days when the weight of waiting for the return of a loved one from war is so heavy and cannot be explained, cannot be understood by any one who doesn't know exactly what this military experience is all about. I so entirely empathize and feel compassion for the wives and children. Because as a parent oh baby it is so not good. Perhaps upon his return stateside I can sleep again through the night. The last time he returned home it still took a while to lose that wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-pray-hard-and-send-him-love-across-the-world syndrome. This deployment IS different and yet, this child of man, this amazing man who is my son, my hero, my inspiration, my head shaking and laughing at him and myself annoyance, is so important to me. How do I share with anyone in a way they can feel how important he is to me? I can't. It takes nothing away from any other important person in my life and all the same, this one is special. This one is different from all the others and I want such joy, such happiness, such LIFE for him. Because he is joy, he is happiness, he is life in so many ways. This is my heart walking around separate from my body. There are a lot of ways in which he is absolutely my clone!! And also ways in which he is who I used to be, who I want to be again. Thus the inspiration, eh? God keep him safe and well and whole. Protect his life, his soul, his body and mind. Bring home and healthy. Help the way home for his spirit - home here on earth, that is - be as easy as the physical journey.
posted by Infantryman's Mom at
2:54 PM
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